Tip #4: It’s safe to relax…wish it didn’t take me until I was 56 to learn it’s actually true.

Be patient as you read this one, I’ve got a lot to say.

Let me start by saying that my inability to really take a breath, exhale and relax probably has a lot to do with things that happened when I was a child. I had some pretty traumatic and dramatic and violent things going on when I was growing up. I don’t know that I could have relaxed during that time – it all seemed too overwhelming and dangerous – and it probably was. However, as I grew older and did the work to heal those things and create a magical life, the edge I had developed to survive was still there. Sometimes it was way in the background of my thinking – but, when I felt threatened in any way – whether it was a real threat or something that reminded me of a threat, that controlling dynamic of mine came front and center.

I’ve probably worked the most on trying to deal with part of myself – because it is one of the things I dislike the most.

And then one day – my coach said to me, “Thea it is safe to relax.” And I burst into tears. I suppose I was crying for that young girl who really never could relax,  and crying for all of the loss and pain I experienced, and crying for the years I spent holding tight when I didn’t need to, and crying for the people I had been edgy with that I loved.

I love the feeling of being at peace more than any other feeling. I have to remind myself daily that it’s safe to relax and sometimes I’m not so good at it. But I have so much more peace now because I discovered that safety was something I could have.

I can still kick butt with intensity when I need to – but I don’t need to very much these days…and so, day by day, my mantra is, “it’s safe to relax.” And then I breathe.

I hope that this is one I can pass on to you so you can live through that lens and not have to wait decades to be really ok with breathing. Don’t worry, you won’t lose your ability to produce great results and make things happen. You’ll just be more peaceful while doing it.

Love, Mom


Tip #3: There is absolutely nothing that replaces the value of sleep.

Set your days up to give yourself a nap if you know your pushing yourself hard. Your mind will try to tell you that you can handle it – but there is nothing to fix feeling funky like good sleep.

Let’s start this one with a contradiction, shall we? Sometimes we need to get that extra sleep, but sometimes we are sleeping to avoid dealing with some of life’s challenges. During those times, you have to figure out when to let yourself crash and when you need to get your ass out of bed and push forward.

Some feel that they’ll have plenty of time to sleep when their life is over so they keep pushing. That’s an awesome way to live…sometimes.

Some feel that making sure they really get enough down time and rest is the way to live. That too is an awesome way to live…sometimes.

See a little pattern here? Like anything in life, sometimes it’s this and sometimes it’s that. Being aware and then honoring what you know will be most powerful for you seems to be the ticket to freedom and well being.

Love, Mom